I’m not sure if this topic has been covered somewhere else. But I have a bit of a dilemma about how to respond (or not respond) to requests for friendship. At some level it looks great to have hundreds of friends, but how do you achieve that without being indiscriminate about accepting friendship requests??

Typically, when I get a request, I click/view the person’s profile.  Unfortunately, many people don’t have working links; those who do might not have complete or “appealing” profiles.The result is that I currently have several pending requests,and I’m unsure what to do. Obviously, I don’t want to be rude with an outright “decline”, but does my lack of response also translate as rude?

I face a somewhat similar issue with Twitter followers — one always ends up with some weird/unrelated followers, which you can’t seem to shake.

What do you do with friendship requests?

Rachel, I have to agree with Dan!  First, good question, as I have been wondering the same thing myself.  I tend to do what you have done.  I first check the person’s profile, any links to pages they may list, etc.  If I see something interesting or in common, I will usually accept.  I also like to see what people have posted and see if that is of interest.  Otherwise, I also have not known what to do after that.  I have not “declined” anyone, and also do not want to be rude (guess that can be a flaw!).  Because of this, I still have friendship requests just sitting there!  Good luck, and I look forward to seeing how others respond.

@rachelagheyisi  I am in total agreement that just “friending” someone for the sake of doing so does not mean much.  I try to actually connect with those I friend, follow their responses to questions I am interested in, etc.  I have also used this method with “likes” on Facebook pages and with those that have “liked” my page.  A like does not mean much to unless there is some true engagement that follows.  Others might not agree, but that is how I find the whole Social Media thing to be most beneficial and meaningful!

@kc_kreative Hi Kristy. Do you happen to have the link to where this topic was previously covered?  I might learn a thing or two from the thread. Also, when you’d declined requests in the past, was there some sort of feedback?

@kc_kreative Thanks, Kristy! There were quite a few interesting/witty exchanges in that thread; skepticism about the true value of friends seems to abound. Perhaps the ability to send PMs comes out as a good reason to seek friends — especially if the private exchanges eventually lead to mutually beneficial personal/business relationships. This reinforces the need to have a rationale for requesting/accepting friends.

  @kc_kreative Kristy, sounds like you’re a horse person. Maybe I should check out owl and teapot people — they are bound to be interesting!

@russellallert Good points! I always send out personal welcome messages to most followers.

@rachelagheyisi I’m a tea drinker Hopefully you’ve connected with Dea Irby as she probably has a large teapot! Of course, member bios have to contain the keywords first in order to find them. I also like wild weather so would that make me a “tempest in a teapot?”

@kc_kreative I like tea too — the herbal variety. If you’re on the East Coast and close to the weather currently brewing there, then the title “tempest in a teapot” fits!

thanks Rachel -
(I’m originally from the east coast, now live in beautiful northern CA – I remember that heat!)

@rachelagheyisi I like Irish Breakfast and Jasmine tea. Yes, I am on the East Coast in the DC Metro area. Hoping to move back to Kentucky one day.  

@claudiapoeckl I only connect with family and close friends on Facebook. I have subscribe activated too. I wonder what is visible of my profile now that I’ve finally switched to Timeline…

All great thoughts on this….and LOVE the “tea” comments (although with my Keurig coffee has topped the list!).  I checked out the past thread also and agree that many interesting comments abound!  Thanks all!

@kc_kreative  Thanks Kristy!  I will have to check it out!

@claudiapoeckl As of today, I still don’t have a FB account. It got too crazy for me to follow all those changes about pages, profiles, privacy, etc. I’m sure I’ll not use it for personal connections, but I think I might reconsider its value for my business.  But I’m not in a hurry to jump in.  I like LinkedIn for business.

I initially tried to check for the degree of activity here, but discovered the profile screen doesn’t tell me about involvement. Stats tell me how long the person has been a member, but not how much they have contributed or where to go to read his or her posts.

Finally, I figured as long as there is a photo that looks reasonably legit–why not accept the friendship request. Maybe they need a friend. What is the downside?

@roadturn Hi Don. Your approach sounds like a reasonable & efficient friendship policy! You’re right, the current club set up doesn’t quite make it easy to have a consistent criterion for friending (is that a word?) people. We are pretty much on our own.

@eddysleiman Thanks Eddy for affirming my freedom to accept/reject requests. Much as I want to express that freedom, I want to be conscious of the feelings of others. I don’t want to offend anyone.

I really appreciate your sharing your personal experience because it offers us all a view of the workings of this forum that I (maybe most of us) would otherwise not know about.  It is precisely because of the possibility of unintended negative outcomes that I thought I should ask for the opinion of fellow members regarding friendship requests.

Maybe as the SME clubs evolve, the tech guys behind the scenes will add more tools to let us track our connections and activity better.

Again, thanks for sharing!

@roadturn

I like your friendly approach It would have been really nice if this add friend button can really guarantee that whomever we are adding have a good intention.

My philosophy is to consider every person with a good intention until he/she proves otherwise. 

Adding a friend here is not really because someone need a friend but rather an interpretation for the word “Networking” since networking has a lot of business connotations and reflects more that someone want something from the other person. So the way they have approached this subject is cool and break this obstacle but what is more important is that we as friends/networker (although it is not a word) have to maintain this attitude as being there to help each other with the mediums and knowledge we have and if things have developed between few of the hundreds that we have on our lists to something more then a digital relationship and we truly became friends then that would be amazing.

Good point about not being able to follow friends’ posts or being able to go to their profile and see the threads they’ve started and posts they’ve made. That would make such a positive difference to SME’s networking clubs. I hope Mike would consider adding that ability. @roadturn

@aimeewest Hi Aimee. I guess your 4-5 cups equal my 2-3 mugs!! I like to use “mug” as unit of measure when talking coffee — it carries a bit more punch than the delicate “cup”.  Or maybe I’m just indulging my silliness. I’m yet to upgrade to “pot” — that most definitely is the ultimate punch; you & your scrapbooking pals must be in caffeine heaven when you get going. Please don’t tell me you drink decaf. That’s a no-no!

Thanks for your 2 cents — it’s highly valued!